I Guess You Could Say That

Aquarium Drunkard yesterday pointed readers at “I’m Gonna Booglarize You, Baby,” a 1972 Captain Beefheart song from Germany posted on YouTube in the ‘Comedy’ category. (Speaking of comedy, it’s funny to watch Captain B. in Germany and learn that this was him attempting to be ‘normal,’ in order to sell more records. All four songs from that TV date can be seen here.)

I didn’t pay much attention to Beefheart back in ’72 – he didn’t make a lot of sense to me in those days, and I suspected that many people only pretended to like his music in order to seem ‘hip.’ In any case, I was interested to read the Wikipedia entry for The Spotlight Kid, the album that the Captain (aka Don Van Vliet) was touring Europe to promote at the time.

I’ve been so clueless about this stuff that I’ve never realized that Zoot Horn Rollo (aka Bill Harkleroad) was a guitar player. My favorite part of the entry, mentioning how terribly Beefheart treated his Magic Band, notes that “the worst of this was directed toward Harkleroad. In his autobiography Harkleroad recalled being thrown into a dumpster, an act he interpreted as having metaphorical intent.” [my emphasis]

Yeah, getting trashed is pretty metaphorical, all right.

p.s. Apparently there’s only one copy of Rollo’s 1998 autobiography, Lunar Notes, in a library in the entire state of Maine. No surprise – it’s at the University of Maine/Machias, where the music department is headed by someone even more hip than Captain Beefheart, my musical hero Professor Gene Nichols.

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Mind Bending

Having some trouble lately deciding which of my thousands of records – remember them, before CDs? – to listen to, I’ve started pulling albums at random off the shelves, then working my way down the alphabet. Which means that one day last week I listened to, in order: Free, the Freedom Sounds (led by trombonist Wayne Henderson), Fresh Air (the group’s self-titled record from 1973, not the radio show), Dean Friedman, and Kinky Friedman, stopping for the afternoon before I got to Donnie Fritts and Lefty Frizzell.

Two days later (starting one to the right of Nick Drake) I got Dreams, Les Dudek, The Dudes, Dave Dudley, and Urszula Dudziak. A few days ago I pulled out the soundtrack for To Sir With Love (between Peter Tosh and Tower of Power) and got sidetracked without going any further. It’s a pretty quick listen – three of the tracks are the same title song sung by Lulu, three other musical excerpts are less than a minute long, and four more less than two minutes each. And yes, it’s pretty sappy, but I had much less trouble being sappy in 1967. (I also liked the movie back then.)

Track #4, Off and Running, turned out to be an actual song by The Mindbenders, a group I usually enjoyed, even though I don’t seem to have any of their records. Which made me think, as one often does these days about 60s rock musicians, “Whatever happened to Wayne Fontana? Is he even still alive?”

After a little investigating (thanks mostly to the Wikipedia), I discovered these 10 interesting things:

1) Lulu’s title song, co-written by her manager’s husband, not only was a smash hit, but turned out to be the #1 single on the Billboard Hot 100 for the entire year. It was #1 for more than a month, following The Letter by the Box Tops and preceding Incense and Peppermints, by the Strawberry Alarm Clock. (I would go put on the latter album right now, except – if you can believe this – I’ve actually listened to it recently.)
2) To Sir With Love, remarkably, is the only record in history that hit #1 in the U.S. while never making the charts at all in England.
3) Wayne Fontana (real name Glyn Geoffrey Ellis) is still alive, age 68 these days. He picked his stage name, some say, in homage to Elvis Presley’s long-time drummer D. J. Fontana.
4) Together Elvis and D.J. made over 450 (!) recordings, including Hound Dog, All Shook Up, Love Me Tender, Heartbreak Hotel, and Jailhouse Rock.
5) Others say Fontana picked his name from his record company – coincidently, the label that released the To Sir With Love soundtrack. It started in the 1950s in Europe as a subsidiary of the Dutch record label Philips, and in the early 1960s became a subsidiary of Mercury Records in the U.S. (A Fontana history.)
6) The Mindbenders (great name, by the way) picked their name because of a 1964 brainwashing movie I’d never heard of before.
7) By the time To Sir With Love was recorded, Wayne Fontana wasn’t even in The Mindbenders any more. Two years earlier, deciding to go solo, he’d left the band he created as his backing group.
8) In 2005, when Fontana (the man, not the label) was trying to fight off bankruptcy, and bailiffs came to his house, he set one of their cars on fire, with a bailiff seated inside it.
9) Summonsed to court on subsequent charges, Fontana came “dressed as Lady Justice, complete with a sword, scales, crown, cape and dark glasses, and claiming ‘justice is blind.’”
10) Wayne/Glyn later moved to Spain but, upon coming back to Manchester to perform at an oldies show in March 2011, was led off in handcuffs by the police before going onstage, because of failure to appear in court concerning an unpaid speeding ticket. It later was determined that the reason Fontana hadn’t paid the ticket was because no one ever had issued it to him, and his record (no, not that kind of record) was cleared.

(The only thing that could make that last story better is if the police, asked for comment, said, “Um, um, um, um, um, um.”)

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Words to Live By

“Let me be the first to admit that the naked truth about me is to the naked truth about Salvador Dali as an old ukulele in the attic is to a piano in a tree, and I mean a piano with breasts.”

— from The Thurber Carnival, James Thurber, 1945, page 31

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Goes Into

Early this morning, my wife had to get to the bus station 50 miles away in the big city (pop. 33,000); we left home at 5:30, a time when I’m often headed to bed.

Before returning to the house I stopped by a grocery store (probably the biggest one within 100 miles of home), a few minutes after it opened. The place was largely deserted, except for a few workers, me, and one other guy, in his late 30s or early 40s. After a few movements of that dance where, every time I came down the next aisle, he came up it in the opposite direction, the man finally spoke.

“Can you do math?” He was standing looking at a display of seltzer water bottles, marked ‘6 for $3.’

“I’m not too bad at it,” I decided.

“This stuff is usually 85 cents each,” he said. “I can’t figure out if this is a good deal.”

“It’s a good deal,” I said, dividing 6 into 300 and getting a number less than 85.

“Thanks.” Then, shrugging, he smiled and said, “I suck at math.”

“It never hurts to ask questions,” I told him. “For example, I don’t have a watch, so I might ask you what time it is.”

“I could answer that one,” he said, and we resumed our dance.

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Why I Haven’t Written Lately

pencil

[image from A Man Escaped, 1957, directed by Robert Bresson]

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My Sister Wants to Know

mystery object…what this thing (these things?) is/are.

“How should I know?” I said.

“The people at Ask Metafilter can tell you in five minutes,” she said.

???

* * *
Well, it wasn’t five minutes, but it was less than an hour.

http://ask.metafilter.com/247076/What-is-this-thing

Thanks, blackshirtandjeans.

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Prone to Read?

The other night I was lying in bed, head propped up by several pillows, reading yet another book about reading — Joe Queenan’s One for the Books (2012) — when I came across this startling sentence on page 210: “My wife, who has the remarkable ability to read in bed with her head propped up on a pillow — an almost Tantric skill that I have never mastered — never recommends books to me, as she cannot figure out what I will like.”

OftB was the 119th book I’ve read so far in 2013, practically every one of which has at some point found me lying with it in bed, head propped up. This is a Tantric skill? I cannot figure out how this is so difficult, unless of course Queenan is being ironic. Which doesn’t seem like him; OftB is the sixth of Queenan’s books I’ve read, and they seem refreshingly irony-free. In his typical approach, he says what he thinks, and is straightforward without being splenetic.

Some of what he writes here about reading and books I agree with: there’s no need for audiobooks, for example, or speed-reading, and no reason to make a big deal about first editions or original manuscripts. I also really like this, from page 238: “I refused to make any headway on my career until I was in my mid-thirties because I was too busy reading. I refused to cultivate the kinds of contacts that would be useful in my line of work because I was too busy reading. Well, that and the fact that the people were appalling.”

Some is a matter of personal preference: Queenan reads dozens of books at the same time, while I think six or seven at once is plenty. He won’t take reading suggestions from most people, which seems limiting, and he really doesn’t like e-readers. Over and over OftB includes sentences like “This story does not work on a Kindle.” or “I do not think you can have this sort of experience with a Kindle.”

I wouldn’t buy a Kindle, either, but I have read about 90 books on my Sony eReader, almost all courtesy of Project Gutenberg. E-readers are no replacement for the real thing, obviously, but certainly an appropriate technology to get access to books long out of print or otherwise impossible to find in this country.

Some seems as if he’s… several shelves shy of a library? Queenan doesn’t like libraries, in fact; he considers that they “exist in large part to divert and service cheapskates.” (This is more kind than his daughter’s opinion, which he quotes on page 212: “If you don’t want to own books, it means you are an asshole.”)

And then there’s Queenan’s pillow problem. Maybe the answer is found in sentences like “I am willing to concede that people like me are mad as hatters.” or “In fact, [my book addiction] is madness.”

More power to him. By now I’ve finished books #120-122 for the year, and working on #123-128.

* * *
p.s. This just in, courtesy of The Daily Glean: “25 Signs You’re Addicted To Books.” My favorites: #5 and #8.

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